


Santa Klaus

by graycloudsfillthesky



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Christmas Party, Crack Treated Seriously, Diego is scared of glitter, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Crack, Glitter, Klaus decided it is Time for them to celebrate something as a family, and yes. klaus is sober., it's cute how fluffy this is gonna be, that tag popped up and it's pretty accurate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 19:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graycloudsfillthesky/pseuds/graycloudsfillthesky
Summary: you read the title, correct?Klaus decides it's finally time to make up all the times they didn't spend together by having a Christmas celebration. In April.(set in an AU where neither the apocalypse nor Alluther happened, because I can.)





	Santa Klaus

**Author's Note:**

> ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I did this for the memes

“Wh-what the hell are you doing?”

Klaus was running around streaming up tinsel, humming happily. Some festive song played lowly in the background.

“Klaus!”

“Oh-” he turned around, the bell on his… hat jingling. “-heeeeyyyy, Five! How’s life?” He leaned against a shelf, as if he didn’t look like he has doused himself in glue and then rolled in Christmas-colored glitter.

Five stared at him, eyebrows drawn together. “Answer the question, dipshit.”

Klaus’s hand flew to his forehead, and he swooned dramatically. “Why, I never! How dare you be so  _ rude  _ to me, young man!”

Five’s expression didn’t change much.

_ “Fine,”  _ Klaus sighed, pouting. “I’m decorating!” His hands flew up, gesturing wildly around him.

“Yeah, I figured,” Five drawled, tilting his head, “but  _ why?” _

“Why? Oh, dear little brother-” he ignored Five’s petulant murmur of “I’m not little,” continuing without pause, “-don’t you remember? There’s this  _ wonderful _ holiday called Christmas!”

“Klaus.”   


“Yes?”

“...it’s April.”

“...and?”

“Christmas is in December,” Five said slowly, as if talking to a dense child.

“I know that, silly duck.”

“Then why-”

“Because-” he bounced over to Five and put a bit of tinsel on him. “-I figured, since we never had  _ any  _ celebrations while dear ol’ dad was around, and never got together any other time, we should celebrate something for once!”

“You couldn’t wait eight months?” Five was visibly bemused.

Klaus danced around, throwing up tinsel and hanging baubles everywhere with reckless abandon. “Nope!” 

Five opened his mouth to say something then closed it. He turned on his heel and walked away, muttering, “I need some coffee… no, maybe something a bit stronger…” 

Klaus continued humming cheerily, singing along to the stupidly cliché song playing at the moment.

Ben snorted. “You do realize that they’re all going to take a  _ lot _ of convincing, right?”

Klaus flapped a hand, up on his toes to reach a higher shelf. “Duh. But we’re still doing this!” he sing-songed.

“Oh, no. No, no, no. ‘We’ aren’t doing anything. This is all you, Klausy-poo,” Ben drawled, standing. “Good luck!”

“Hey, wait- damn you!” Klaus shouted at Ben’s retreating back. “Disloyal bastard,” he grumbled.

 

Allison walked into the library some hours after Five had to see Klaus, dressed in swishy skirt and an ugly-as-fuck Christmas sweater, climbing shelves to reach some taxidermied animal head. His arm flailed as he attempted wrapping it in silver tinsel.

“Klaus-Klaus, no! Get down from there!”

“Hang on, dear sister! I’ve… almost… got it! Ah- _ ha!  _ There we are!” Klaus had reached far over, twirling the tinsel around the farther horn, and-

_ “Shit!” _

He fell.

Luckily, he fell on the giant (and the author does mean very large here, possibly Luther-sized) ball of tinsel he had been hanging, softening the fall.

Allison winced, stepping closer. “Uh… Klaus? You okay there?”

Klaus groaned, raising a thumbs up from where he was buried in tinsel. “Yep. Totally tubular.”

“Um.” She toed some baubles out of her path gently with her flats. “Do you need help?”

“That’d be great, actually,” came the muffled reply.

“Wha-how did you manage to get yourself stuck in a  _ tinsel knot?”  _ Allison asked, looking very concerned.

“Huh. Is that what that is?” Klaus hummed, squirming. “Odd, isn’t it. Don’t quite know how that happened.”

“It’s because you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Shut up, Ben.”

Allison looked increasingly concerned, watching Klaus argue with thin air. She knew it was just her long-dead brother he was communing with, but that didn’t make it any less odd. She shook her head, pulling an end of tinsel out of the knot and loosening it. “You’re good now,” she said pointedly, nudging Klaus’s ribs. 

“Thanketh thou, dear sister.”

“No problem...?”

Klaus shot her a blinding grin. She was mildly disturbed.

 

Klaus clapped his hands together excitedly, glitter flying everywhere. Diego scooted away from him, shuddering.

“So! I’m sure you’re all wondering, “Hey, Klaus, why the heckity  _ heck  _ are you putting up Christmas decorations?”, right? Well-”   


“Moreover, where the hell did you even get these?” Luther butted in.   


“Do shut up, Luther. I’m talking here.” Klaus flashed him a mirthless and very much sarcastic grin. “Anywhore, we’re celebrating Christmas! Yaaaaayyyyyy!” he cheered.

Everyone stared at him silently.

“...what?”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Ben’s face was smug, and Klaus whirled around to poke a finger at him. 

“You, sir ghosty, can shut up.”

“Oh, yeah? You and I both knew nobody would like the idea!”   


“Well no shit, Benny dear, I have to explain it first!”

Ben snorted. “They’re still probably never gonna go for it.”

Klaus huffed.

“So  _ that’s  _ why you nearly broke your neck hanging up tinsel,” Allison muttered.

“Yup!” 

Five groaned, resting his face in his hand and scrubbing at it. These were going to be some  _ very _ long few days ahead of him.

 

(Diego, huddled in a protective ball, was still scared from all the glitter.)

**Author's Note:**

> *internally dying*


End file.
